I’ve never lived with a cat and never thought I would.  But Skippy, my new roommate’s cat, is cultivating a place in my heart.  Skippy is a male cat and has the cutest “purr” that makes him sound like a baby.  When I come home or awake to him, I greet him with “Hi babyyy!”

I’m very affectionate toward Skippy, and he is usually responsive but often moody. He will always brush up against me, but sometimes, he pulls away when I touch him. He has even tried to bite me a few times. This attempt at biting is usually followed by an intense stare.  Then, he usually runs away.

When I go after him, he doesn’t want to hear about it. But when I ignore him, he always comes back to me, slinking into the living room. I broke ground this past weekend when Skippy, on his own accord, hopped up on the couch next to me and just sat, leaning on me while I read. It was a quite lovely few minutes, and I experienced an intimacy of a sort. Needless to say, I was affected, and when I try to get Skippy to replicate that moment with me again, he won’t do it. I guess I will have to wait.

“He really likes you,” says my roommate. “He doesn’t act like that with everybody.” I desperately want to know what Skippy is trying to communicate to me when he purrs and looks at me in the eye. But how can I know?

How can I know what anybody’s behavior means? At the risk of sounding neurotic and sexually deviant, I am going to say, Skippy reminds me of some of the guys that I’ve dated: moody, potentially good companions, and quite satisfyingly affectionate they feel available.  However, most of them need for things to happen at their accord. Such is my karma!

I’ve learned that the embarrassing amount of time I spend trying to “decode male behavior” is null. Their behavior is not what matters. What matters is You. Is Me. What we want. Not what we think they want.

I am confident that people attract the right things for themselves when they are in unwavering alignment with what they need. Remember the fellow I wrote about last week? The one to whom I “gave too much”? Well, he has pulled an act I can’t even attempt to understand. He has not contacted me. He has disappeared.

In a time like this, I am very thankful to have Skippy in my life. Skippy and I will continue to grow closer. He will be a good practice mate for understanding the push and pull that happens in mortal female/male relationships. He is teaching me patience. And the most assuring thing about Skippy is that he can’t leave the apartment or disappear.