Despite carols, brightly-colored trees, and an abundance of comfort foods, Christmas offers a helping of anxiety, fatigue, tension, and indigestion too. As you remember fond memories with friends and family, you also recall the planning, worrying, and mishaps that accompany the holidays. According to the American Psychological Association, 8 out of 10 Americans have anticipated a stressful holiday.

Here are some of the simple ways you can keep your sanity and enjoy the real joy of the season without having to sacrifice your own needs to please everyone else.

Be a realistic planner. Are you hosting the big family Christmas this year? Try to keep in mind the reason for orchestrating big gatherings: to enjoy the company of the people you love. Rearranging your schedule, losing sleep, or making extra special arrangements for guests will lead to frustration and possibly resentment. Maybe playing host has repeatedly fallen onto you. You too should have a reason to look forward to the season. Consider taking turns with your family each year.

Learn when to say no. This is one time where our ambitious are higher, and we try to accomplish more than we do during any other part of the year. Know your own limitations – you can only be in one place at a time, and your body still requires a healthy balance that includes nourishment and rest. If you have multiple invitations to other parties or events, prioritize the invitations you accept, and try not to feel obligated to go to every holiday gathering.

Don’t put your own needs last. Pay attention to the stressors that affect you around the holidays. You can avoid guilt in overeating, major appetite changes, or pending ailments by continuing to exercise and eat sensibly. Some indulgence is good, but overeating can increase stress on your body. Be sure to make time for yourself, so you can relax and refresh your energy. Listen to soothing music, or find something to help clear your mind for 15-30 minutes.

Christmas is what you make it. As much fun and warmth as there is in old holiday traditions, they can also lead to excessive stress to meet the myth of perfection. This particular winter has struck everyone hard, so remember to stick to your budget. Christmastime is much more than cool presents or money, so you don’t need to buy happiness (quality always is better than quantity). Also, as families grow and times change, so do old traditions. Think about the ones you want to keep, and those that cause more headache than harmony.

Life is never like you see it on TV holiday specials or family flicks – things often do not go according to plan. Learn how to roll with the punches. If the whole family can’t get together across the miles, find ways to send your warm wishes through online chatting, e-mail greeting cards, care packages, and such. Accept that you’ll forget to get something at the grocery store until the last minute, or that your house guests will find reasons to bicker. And if you can, seek support and encouragement in other places to help keep your spirits up during the busy holiday season.