Work is a new thing for me. Sure I had the waitress job, the college bookstore job, the freelance job. But none of those things required me to sit for so long. I have almost perfected le art of mannequin.

Luckily, my friends, my retired dad, and my computer-genius uncle enjoy sending me a plethora of Internet links throughout the day. I even sometimes get e-mails from the King of Nigeria, who asks me for money. I told him I don’t get paid until next Friday.

Regardless, I am inundated with extremely interesting, odd, creepy, and innovative things during my day at work. So when my responsibilities for the day have slowed and playing with the label maker turns into a depressing film noir scene, I explore the deep and hidden layers of the Internet. What once only consisted of screeching phone dial sounds and weird Nickelodeon chat-rooms has turned into pure ecstasy for mind nomads everywhere.

So every Friday I will share with you what I have found that week. Maybe you’ve already seen it, maybe you’ve already invented it, maybe you laugh at the fact that I have the time to find it while you’re out sipping a Boysenberry Non-Fat Iced Latte at your local coffee house. In any event, I was able to procrastinate, and 5 PM came just that much sooner.

Edible

I’m not sure who even sent me this. But thank you, because now that I know there are trained monkeys who pick coffee in remote China, I realize my college education was a total waste. Also, if I were a different kind of person in a different kind of decade, I might order 70 Salvia lollipops and hand them out at the park, just to see what would happen.

Diamond Ring Cup

Everyone has that one friend who needs this. You order it online for their birthday and when you click “purchase” you are relieved that you not only found the ideal gift for said friend, but you totally out gifted all your other friends who probably just bought her another book about Stevie Wonder or France.

This Is Why You’re Fat

I’m pretty sure this one has been circulated among the masses, but it’s constantly being updated with even more disgusting and mouth-titillating things daily. Check out the fried guacamole. There is no way it wasn’t 3 AM when those stoned bastards pulled out Sally’s left over guacamole and realized the deep fryer hadn’t been used in awhile.

Table Manners

Artists Mario Minale and Kuniko Maeda’s Table Manners series reminds me of what I imagined Paris to be like when I was eight and had just returned from Epcot, realizing my New Jersey life filled with rye bread and plastic tablecloths might be lacking.

Tea Dam

When my friend Herm started working at a tea café, she taught me the art of steeping your tea for just the proper amount of time so that it doesn’t taste funky. She even had one of those hourglass timers like the Wicked Witch used on Dorothy, but smaller. Sadly, her instruction was in vain, and I still let my tea bag sit at the bottom of the cup, always wondering why it doesn’t have that lavender infused citrus blend it was advertised with. Basically what I’m saying is I’m lazy, and these cups enable me to stay that way.