I had been in the Shibuya district of Tokyo for over an hour, aimlessly walking through the throngs of people who were heading to work, school, and lunch. My only purpose for being there was, hopefully, to meet some people and make friends. Unfortunately, I found that it was extremely difficult to go up to a stranger, start a conversation, and become fast friends.

Yet, if you’re spending time in a foreign country, especially if you’re alone, you’re going to want to make some friends. People love to share memories and experiences with each other, and loneliness can turn even the best of times into long, depressing days. To avoid such solo endeavors, you need to open up, start smiling, and search for potential friends.

One way to make friends is to meet them as strangers. Movies often depict two future lovers meeting when they accidentally bump into each other on the train, or two strangers becoming friends when they reach for the same hair product at the store. Many people will find that it isn’t that easy in real life.

I stood on the “up” escalator in one of the most popular malls in Japan. I hadn’t yet met any strangers-turned-friends, and the lack of company was beginning to wear on me. Then I heard something from the girls a few steps higher on the escalator. English. I knew a little Japanese, but if I could make a friend that knew English – well, that would be perfect.

What was I supposed to say, “Hi, I notice we both speak English?”. I wasn’t trying to hit on the girls or anything; I just wanted friends. I thought it would be weird if I said anything, so I decided to wait. Up and up I went on the escalator. I realized I couldn’t follow them forever – that was even creepier – so I got off the escalator on the seventh floor. If I saw them again, I told myself, I would say something about their English, and maybe we would become friends. Of course, I never saw them.

There is simply no room to be shy in foreign countries. You and I have to realize that even if you’re staying in Japan or Scotland for a year, opportunities cannot go to waste. It might take a while before you meet a potential future friend. If your tenure in a country is only a month or two, then you need to be actively searching for friends, not waiting for them to find you.

Here’s a tip for brazenly introducing yourself to a complete stranger: ask for help. Ask for anything, like how to get to “X” train station, or where the nearest McDonald’s is located. Afterward, keep the conversation flowing. Most people are friendly and will go out of their way to help you. If you remain open and outgoing, the stranger will soon give you a name, and the name often becomes a friend.

If they speak your language, then great, there’s one thing you have in common. If not, don’t fret, because pointing your finger often suffices. Don’t be afraid of the language barrier – there’s a certain charm to not being able to fully communicate with someone. Usually, the person will know a little English, and you will know a few words of their language, but if you become friends, you can teach each other as you spend time together.

Another, less awkward, way of making friends is the “introduction”. You will probably know someone in the country you are visiting. Even if they are too busy to be with you everyday, or they are not your age, ask them for contacts. They probably know people your age that would be willing to show you around.

My Mom had a childhood friend living in Tokyo and wanted me to meet up with her. Aunt Nancy, as I was supposed to call her, was extremely nice and practically invited me into her family. Through Aunt Nancy, I met her husband, or my “Uncle Kaz”. When I met my Uncle Kaz at the Hatanodai train station in Tokyo, I was introduced to one of his boxing students, Koge, who went to international school and spoke perfect English. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up. Koge was not only a great friend who took his own time to show me around, but also introduced me to his friends who, in turn, also agreed to show me around the country.

Once you have started a conversation with a friend, don’t let them leave without getting their phone number. E-mail works as well, but a phone number is much more reliable. Get the number, and call them a few days later.

As for your own phone, buy a phone capable of worldwide use. If your cell phone provider does not have any international phones, then simply buy a prepaid phone for time you are traveling. Future communication is vital, or else the friend you made might become a “one-night friendship.” It is always better to carry on that friendship so your relationship can grow throughout your stay in the country.

I had finished a less-than-stellar group interview and headed towards the train station. I noticed I was following one of my fellow interviewees. She was several years older then me, but I was looking for a friend, not a date. We were both on the same train, heading into the heart of Tokyo. I debated striking a conversation with her; after all she could be getting off the train at any of these stations. Finally, I walked up to her and asked if she had been at the interview with me. She, of course, said yes, and we started talking. She had been in Tokyo longer than I had, but was still exploring the city. We hit it off pretty well and I ended up helping her find the station she was looking for. The time came when she got off the train and I stayed on. We said goodbye, maybe see you again, and I didn’t ask her for her number.

There is neither room nor time, to be shy or anything less than outgoing. Ask for the number, because you will probably not see your potential future friend again. Opportunities are not to be wasted at any point in your trip, mainly because you never know if you’ll ever get another one.

Remain open in your trip. Be social and outgoing. Smile and turn the strangers into friends. You never know if your Mom’s friend’s husband’s boxing student’s friends will turn out to be the people who befriend you and show you their home, changing your life and creating priceless memories.